Jealousy: how to deal with it

  • Reasons for jealousy
  • Themselves to blame!
  • How to stop jealous?
  • How to stop jealous of a guy?
  • How to stop jealous of her husband?
  • How to stop jealous of a girl?
  • Pathological jealousy

It's hard to find someone who is not familiar with the feeling of jealousy. It is very strong and, unfortunately, not always controlled. It is often accompanied by unpleasant experiences for a person.

Where does jealousy come from? It arises from the fear of losing your second half? Or maybe it's just a manifestation of a sense of ownership? Or is jealousy an unavoidable companion of relationships and you have to put up with it? But why is its power so destructive? With all this you can understand and then you will understand how to get rid of jealousy.

Reasons for jealousy

We want to be unique and unique for our beloved or beloved. And this is a completely predictable desire. Jealousy appears quite natural and there is always a reason. She keeps the relationship on the verge of collapse

and makes the couple balance out of their last strength, torturing both.

Jealousy is a sign of mistrust not only to a partner, but to yourself. After all, jealous people do not value their chances very much, constantly comparing themselves with a real, potential or contrived rival. That's one of the reasons for jealousy - low self-esteem and self-doubt. It is here that the root of evil is hidden. Because of the uncertainty in the mind of a jealous person, various negative thoughts appear. For example: "He is much more attractive than me. She will leave me because of this handsome. .. ".

It is worthwhile to draw a parallel between self-esteem and attitudes towards others. After all, a person who does not really love himself, can not get along with others. Such people are distinguished by their closeness, captiousness and touchiness. And at this moment you are thinking: where is jealousy? But remember that a jealous man is not confident in himself and he has a low self-esteem. Therefore, he does not appreciate other people too. And even if he practically does not know them, he still admits that they can go to treason.

So, in order to understand how to overcome jealousy, you must first find the cause of this problem.

  • - Flirtation of .If one of the couple allows it, then there is every reason to doubt the partner's loyalty.
  • - Rumors of .If you heard something bad about your second half from neighbors, acquaintances, then remember that these can be the atrocities of envious persons and ill-wishers. And before deconstructing your beloved or beloved, check these rumors and think about whether it's worth paying attention to those who just dream of living like you, but they do not get it. And that is why, with their gossip, they want to destroy the world that they failed to build.
  • - The Past .In life, everything happens. It may happen that in due time you broke up with your loved one, for a long time did not see and managed to make a new romance. But then an unexpected meeting occurred, and the old feelings flared up with renewed vigor. And it seems to you that they did not die out. Here, jealousy will be reasonable. And each of the love triangle must make his choice.
  • - Stormy fantasy .Sometimes it is played out for everyone, and it is the closest to reap its fruits. There are many reasons for suspicion and anxiety. That's just whether to think and "suck" the problem from the finger? Do not waste your nerves in vain.
  • - Sense of ownership .This, unfortunately, is a very common phenomenon. A man who meets or already lives with a girl under one roof, automatically, at a subconscious level begins to consider her as belonging exclusively to him. And a woman, in order not to lose her lover, often reconciles with this situation, although she absolutely does not like this situation. After all, for everyone it is important to have your own space, a little freedom even in a strong and happy relationship. A man, seeing a woman submissive in everything, allows himself to indicate the other half, how to behave, what to dress and how to spend time. The girl turns into a puppet and the time comes when she wants to escape from captivity into the arms of a more understanding person.
  • - Distrust of .Here, even without any reason for jealousy, the partner will have to tight.
  • - Complexity of .Your second half believes that everything around is beautiful, interesting, confident, intelligent and funny, and he or she is not? Then it is not surprising that pathological jealousy appears.
  • - Attention deficit .Such a partner wants all the attention of the satellite to be always focused on it. As soon as his eyes are taken away from him for a second, then immediately rage arises, a person seeks to "get to the bottom", what to convict. Such a man or woman does not allow to be forgotten.
  • - Sexual dissatisfaction with .If the couple's intimacy does not happen so often or he's not as stormy as one of them would have liked, then an unsatisfied partner might suspect that his other half is spending his powers somewhere on the side, laying out to the full power there, and notHere.

Themselves are to blame!

Who searches, it always finds. .. problems on its head. If you constantly think about something bad, it will happen. You yourself, focusing attention on the negative, attract it. Anyone who constantly harasses his partner with causeless jealousy, and himself pushes the other half to betrayal. After all, relations due to constant quarrels deteriorate, and over time, the pair moves away from each other. On the groundless accusations the partner reacts with protest. And, in the end, the spouse or spouse have a real romance "on the side".

And indeed, jealousy very quickly destroys even the most robust relationship. First of all, it negatively affects the jealous man himself. Such a person does not know how to trust, he is not confident in his own strength, anxious, suspicious and can not relax. And he often has a bad mood, and this affects the atmosphere in the family and saturates the relationship with a negative.

How to stop jealous?

When you want to take control of a situation, do not forget that jealousy is inherently irrational and almost impossible to control when it comes to a loved one and a very expensive person. Try to establish a very clear line between obvious and far-fetched, sort out your feelings. So you will not let your couple or family break up. From jealousy you need to get rid of once and for all, otherwise it will poison your life.

How to stop jealous of a guy?

With a feeling of jealousy, almost all women are familiar. And even those who are quite successful, balanced and sane. No one is immune to this feeling.

How not to be jealous of a guy, if there is a reason for jealousy? Do not blame only him in this situation. This is unfair and the root of the problem needs to be looked for in oneself. After all, often on the betrayal of the guys pushes a certain behavior of their girls. And do not neglect the fact that in 9 out of 10 cases, jealousy is just a product of female fantasy, which arises from mistrust, speculation and rumors.

Practice shows that in most cases, female jealousy arises from lack of self-confidence and the fear of losing your soul mate. In a state of jealousy, those women who are complex because of their appearance, often feel embarrassed by their position in society or material condition. But those ladies who are confident in their attractiveness, are successful and have a high self-esteem, are much less likely to fall victim to jealousy. Therefore, the answer to the question of how to cope with jealousy, suggests itself: increase your self-esteem! And it can be done in a variety of ways. And the simplest of them is a complete change of your wardrobe. Your new clothes should be expensive and stylish, so that you look irresistible in the eyes of the surrounding men.

Another reason for the girl's jealousy is her fear of being alone and losing her beloved man. If the reason for your unhealthy feelings lies precisely in this, then you need to change the situation and just unwind. And sad thoughts will leave your consciousness. And once you are again subject to jealousy, immediately look for something new and interesting around to switch your attention. All negativity will go to the background and eventually will be forgotten.

Another negative energy, which is caused by jealousy, can be directed to a positive channel. It may not solve the main problem, but it will save you from the black thoughts. For example, you can switch to work instead of spending time and thoughts on jealousy. So this destructive feeling as a result will help you reach the heights in your career.

To solve the problem of jealousy once and for all, take care of yourself. And learn to trust your young man by eradicating such a negative trait of your character as suspicion. After all, someone who does not trust his second half, then turn in the eyes of the beloved in a real despot who sees in everything a deception.

And if you find that your man has some secrets from you that he is hiding, this does not mean that you should be jealous of him. Just take his word for it, and do not start immediately to find out the relationship with him. Or just try to pretend that you believe him, and check the information yourself. Such concepts as credulity and trust should be clearly distinguished and shared. The first is extremely undesirable, but it is impossible to build strong relations without the second. Better to be a jealous than a gullible fool, whom all her chosen ones change.

How can I stop jealous of my husband?

Jealousy can occur at any stage of the novel. And even if you have not encountered it before, you can get acquainted with such a feeling for the first time already in a marriage. From this, no one, unfortunately, is immune. Jealousy is not alien to lasting, lasting relationships. And since this feeling torments not only the jealous, but also the object of jealousy, it is better to get rid of it as soon as possible.

If you are interested in how not to be jealous of your husband, then first of all you must remember that the relationship is based on mutual respect and trust. It is this power that avoids conflicts, resentments and jealousy.

Try to call your husband for a frank conversation, if you have a need for it, and you are eaten from the inside by a "worm of doubts".You can learn him, his desires, dreams and thoughts. Such conversations are based on frankness and mutual trust. They have a miraculous power and can save the relationship from jealousy. But in such conversations, as in everything else, it is important to keep balance. Do not cross that thin line, which talks heart to heart into interrogations with a passion, that, after all, turn into clarifying relationships, tantrums and scandals. So you will not only push your loved one away from you, but he will also move away. And as a result, he will begin to seek understanding and comfort in the arms of another woman - more confident and balanced.

How to stop jealous of a girl?

You are tormented by the question of how not to be jealous of a girl, if she does not give even a reason? Try not to show your aggression and not to torment your beloved with unfounded suspicions. If she returned home late, do not make a scandal. Do not rummage in her phone - she also has the right to personal space. This greatly exacerbates the problem of jealousy, which basically has no basis under itself. But your pressure can make a girl put an end to the relationship. After all, there is a limit to everything. And even patience may someday end.

  1. Be careful, affectionate and attentive to your girlfriend and so you warn treason. After all, often women fall into other people's embraces because of not receiving less attention from their second half. The representative of the weaker sex, who is satisfied with the relationship, is unlikely to have an affair on the side.
  2. Without an increase in self-esteem is indispensable. After all, from the complexes and insecurities, not only the girls, but also some men, who apparently do not even show their "weakness", suffer. Understand yourself, get rid of flaws, increase your self-esteem and strive to be better than yesterday. So you can love yourself and cope with your groundless suspicions.
  3. To get distracted from the experience, you can do what you love. If you are fascinated by something interesting, you stop thinking about jealousy. You will forget about how negative emotions spoiled your mood and worsened well-being. A positive and enjoyable pastime for your hobby will give a lot of positive emotions and help to look at the problem completely different eyes.
  4. Soberly evaluate the situation and do not invent the non-existent signs. If you try to give your favorite special significance to everyday activities, nothing good will come of it. She can be delayed because of urgent work, and not because of a date with another, defiantly dyeing not for a lover, but for you. And she may be happy not because of the novel on the side, but because she has you.
  5. Spend more time together. Have a rest together on weekends, meet at lunch time, see her off to work in the morning and pick it up after the end of the day, enter the circle of her friends. But do not be too intrusive, always wondering if she is not against such actions on your part.
  6. Discuss with your favorite thoughts and feelings that disturb you and eat from the inside. Maybe she does not suspect that something is wrong in your relationship. Just talk about such serious things in a relaxed atmosphere and in no way accuse the girl. With the help of a simple and sincere conversation one can clarify a lot, help each other and become even closer.

Pathological jealousy

There are such signs of pathological jealousy:

- Jealousy without cause .A person does not understand why he is jealous, and does not know how to cope with a similar problem.

- Mental disorder .This could be a person's original, but because of jealousy, the condition worsened. Although on the basis of jealousy, a mental disorder could arise.

Pathological jealousy is classified by form.

  1. Crazy ideas of .This is proof of the development of schizophrenia. He explains his distrust very structured and logical.
  2. Obsessions .People who are full of similar ideas have a great desire to arrange constant checks and even surveillance. But at the same time they are eaten from the inside by a sense of shame.
  3. Super-valuable ideas for .If a person suffers from jealousy at this stage, then he is already inadequate in his thoughts and actions. And in rages of rage he is capable of much.

Is there a cure for pathological jealousy? Of course, but you can get rid of a dangerous feeling if a person is able to revise his own personality, as such. Getting rid of jealousy is quickly impossible. It will take a lot of time, effort, nerves and diligence.

Jealous people are very sorry that you can not drink a pill that would save you from a destructive feeling. And many at the same time are looking for salvation in alcohol, and against a background of jealousy a new pathology arises - alcoholism.

A person who suffers from pathological jealousy, often can not control emotions and restrain their actions. He can not only be rude or scream, but also threaten and strike. Jealous people are very dangerous. But you can agree with them if you make every effort.

A jealous person can be compared to the owner, only in action. Believe me, it's hard for him to live with such a feeling and he does not see an alternative way out. Solve the problem it is only temporary:

  • - nicotine;
  • - alcohol;
  • - drugs;
  • - nervous breakdowns on close people;
  • - sleep;
  • - shower;
  • - work;
  • - delicious food;
  • - Relaxation music;
  • - conversations with friends;
  • - entertainment in the company.

Remember that jealousy is cruel. It mercilessly destroys the integrity of the human body, destroys the perfect relationship. The jealous man himself suffers, hates and despises himself. He wants to escape from a far-fetched reality, but she does not leave him alone. If you run into this problem, be sure to look for a solution, do not close our eyes to the real thing, and do not refuse the help of relatives and professionals.

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reasons of jealousy and how to fight it. Matvienko Marina, Center The Way to Itself.